1. to the stinky-ASS housekeeper - "No, I think it's perfectly fine that you walk to work in the dead-heat of summer, and don't believe in deodorant and then proceed to STINK my office up with your RANK old woman un-checked BO twice a day."
2. to the RUDE customer lady at Dunkin - "Absolutely jump ahead of me in line - that's what I intended for you to do when, with 5 people behind me, I stepped two feet to the left to get a strawberry milk out of the cooler. I decided you're something speshul - go ahead and CUT YOU TROLL!"
3. don't hate the messenger, just the message: Not all people have attractive children. In fact, some of them tend to look like Gollum... And to all my friends - no, I don't mean you - your children are BEAUTIFUL! (seriously. no sarcasm intended)
4. to stupid coworkers - "I really appreciate that you just let me walk around all day with a giant whole in the crotch of my pants. Extra breeze ended up being awesome- I was hot anyways. Thanks."
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